Monday, September 14, 2009

Emotional Basketcase

Well Friday I hit a wall of emotions that I hadn't felt for a long time if ever. It all started with a day off work because I was going to be a domestic goddess and clean the house before we had visitors on Friday night and Sat.

I started on the Kitchen and had it spotless except for the mess that resides where we dump our stuff upon walking through the door. I kept trying to sort that mess but everytime I wanted to put something elsewhere I thought I am just going to have to move it again when I go to clean the next room.

Easily sidetracked I ended up in the scrap room with laptop open doing a combination of work and sorting out album pages. I was pulling apart a post bound travel album when all my spare bits fell off the table and onto the floor, this was the beginning of the meltdown. Jamie called right in the middle of it and I made light of the fact that I was too fat to bend over and pick them up. Not wanting to be outdone by my lack of wasteline, I swept all the bits into a pile and squatted and moaned and managed to pick them all up.

Dilema sorted, I put the pages in the album put it all back together only dropped 1 more bit which I again managed to pick up.

So I moved onto another space in the house that collects mess, the bottom of the stairs, Jamie's paintball stuff was sitting there as well as the "collectors" bottles of alcohol that he insists on buying but yet we have no space for, so I shoved things under the stairs. Then he rang right in the middle of my mess and he asked the dreaded question "what is wrong", bursting into tears, I started ranting - house, shitfight, mess, fat, dropping things, don't know where to start, can't bend over, hadn't yet had a shower, visitors coming, blah blah blah. After calming down a little I said don't worry I'll be fine, just being stupid, so I thought I would go and have a shower this might help. Well how wrong I was.

I caught a glimpse of my naked physique in the mirror, boobs sagging to an all time low, HUGE belly, it was hideous, I managed to blubber myself into the shower. Then I had to get dressed, I thought I would find a pair of lightweight trackies that I could roll up to 3/4 and a T-shirt that would fit to finish my housework, but no, absolutely nothing to wear, pants so tight I was embarrassed to wear them even around the house incase someone knocked on the door, t-shirt so tight it was like a lycra bodysuit, so I sat on the edge of the bed and cried some more, everything I wanted to wear was in the wash. I finally managed to locate a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt that was semi respectable.

Housework can wait, I was in no state to do anything apart from hopefully see someone elses story who was worse off than me, cry about that and then my life would be all ok. So with a giant bowl of leftover chinese food in hand I plonked on the lounge to watch Oprah. Well it wasn't the story I was hoping for but it did keep my mind off the mess.

I had stopped crying when my friend Maryanne turned up from Maitland to stay the weekend and then she said the dreaded words "how are you", well that started me off all over again.

Long story short, I said fuck the messy house, I am not cleaning anymore, and as it turned out with Maryanne's whirlwind almost 3 year old in the house all weekend plus all the guests and their children on Sat and pizza making, not only did the rest of the house get messy but the kitchen was a disaster zone after making the dough, so I was probably lucky that I didn't keep going otherwise another meltdown could have been iminent.

Saturday was very relaxing apart from rolling out the Pizza dough I managed to get some quality time on the new deck chairs and we just chilled out and relaxed in the glorious weather, it was great to catch up with some of mine and Jamie's friends. I was a completely different person to Friday.

Moral to this story, don't do housework it messes with your head.


Megan Zee said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm... I like yer thinking - I shall have to remember that one when next I'm cleaning...hehehe...((Sorry about your emotional roller coaster though - it does pass...))

Cass said...

Having a clean house is waaayyyy over-rated. ;)